I toasted bagels and sliced peaches for chattering mouths this morning while uninvited tears slipped subtly down my cheeks. All week I firmly resisted shards of fear and worry, but today the underlying grief worked its way to the surface.
Tomorrow we enter the courthouse again. More than five years have passed since I stepped into such a room to hear the proclamation of a judge over the content of my life. Much has changed. But I am reminded this … Read more »
I unlock the front door to escape the arctic air and am greeted by the ever-growing tangle of tennis shoes, baseball cleats, slippers, gym shoes and snowboots, thrown together in an ungangly mess . I stand on the hardwood floor, my own boots dripping melted snow and salt remains into the floor below me, because every inch of rug and floor mat is already claimed. The baby squirms in my arms as I give the pile a kick to free … Read more »
Eliot stopped at the edge of the peeling porch step and whirled back around.
“Have a great Christmas, Mom. I’ll miss you.”
Within seconds his arms were wrapped tightly around me.
I savored the briefest moment, the growing gangly boy enveloped in my hug, then stepped back and flashed him a big smile, “I will – and you too! Have a great time at Dad’s, and I’ll see you in just a few days.” He grinned back, turned, and then … Read more »
Abandonment. Abuse. Betrayal. Poverty. Family chronic illness.
Papa has faced many great tragedies already in his young life, and yet you would not know upon meeting him. You would first notice his broad smile and caring eyes and be put quickly at ease. He radiates peace and contentment and strength. He has had plentiful reasons to put on bitterness or get stuck seeking justice, or even to just give up entirely. Yet repeatedly, he does not yield to his feelings … Read more »
‘My life is perfect.’
I set down my wine glass and turned to face Sullivan, incredulous. His wide grin assured me that he was quite serious.
Was this not the same little boy that just a year ago had been completely self-destructing? Pushing down his hurt and rage, then exploding, stuffing, exploding. I have cried more tears over him than any of my children as I’ve watched him grieve in such pain, unable to really communicate it or release it … Read more »
After the eve of turning has been properly celebrated with sparkly drinks and amazing friends, before fixing my mind forward with resolution and strategies for the newborn year , I choose something both simple and profound.
I carve out space for grace.
It is the very best groundwork to lay in a year that I intend to be rich and full and productive. It is the best footing to choose when I intend to be stronger, wiser, and more loving … Read more »
They watched as Plan A fell away,
and God replaced it with…Plan A.
Our pastor spoke these words over us a year ago today as he joined our lives and families together.
Our friends love to call it Plan A+.
God’s supernatural aptitude to work everything for good still blows my mind. And it is supernatural for sure – heads above any piecemeal makeover plan we could scrap together ourselves. I had asked Him many times in those dark years … Read more »
Our family watched The Nativity Story for the first time together. I loved seeing this story that I know so well unfold visually and stir up new thoughts, especially as we watched the slow-time, the down-time – the waiting. How many conversations, wonderings, questions, hopes and fears must have come to the surface in all of those moments? The late nights with Elizabeth, the whispers as the baby and her belly grew, questions as miles passed on the way to … Read more »
I stood beaming near the tree, now freshly peppered with shiny gifts. The boys rushed in the door and made a mad dash to the gift pile – looking, shaking and squeezing with their child-like wonder. I see Sullivan mouthing something as he handles his presents one by one, then finally he turns to me and says,
There are only 4 presents for me.
At Dad’s house, I have 8.
This was last Christmas. But the scene still tries … Read more »
My Christmas highlight thus far was yesterday when my fav version of Go Tell It On the Mountain blasted through our speakers, and we just couldn’t help ourselves! Suddenly Eliot and Curie were leading a dance train, Sullivan and Magellan partnered up twirling about the room together, while Newton and Wesley rocked some uniquely ‘inspired’ creative dance moves! I happily jumped from one dance group to another, as they all bubbled over with smiles and laughter.
There is nothing that … Read more »