A lot, actually. When each baby was growing in my belly, we thought quite a bit about what they were going to be called and those meanings. And so in the formation of our new family unit, we’ve thought a great deal about names as well.
The kids usually refer to each other all as brothers, but once in a while it’s necessary to differentiate. So we’ve fallen in love with the term bonus (as a substiution for step). I first heard it from the lovely ladies at www.bonusfamilies.com. Websters defines it as:
A bonus is a gift – something extra or additional, an asset given freely.
Step has so many negative connotations, and really implies levels. We love that every time we use the word bonusmom or bonusbrother it implies that each person’s presence is an asset to our lives and to the whole family.
Sometimes we also have to differentiate between sets of kids, as in ‘I’ll pick up my kids from school, you get yours from your mom…’ But again, ‘yours and mine’ just smells of division from the get go. So we decided to name our ‘sets’. The kids helped; and finally decided that my boys are Team Brown; Papa’s kids are Team Red; and when we need the whole gang – they are Team All Star (which is my favorite!).
I think any new word or title feels uncomfortable at first – but don’t be afraid to test them out a bit, if your situation is a bit unusal too and could use some new titles! What we call each other, and call out, day after day does matter.