The last week or two has been a blur; crazy client deadlines and birthdays galore and company and house construction and rampant illness. Unfortunately, this kind of week is more common that I’d like to think. I’m sure I’m not alone.
When God and I have not had quality time, I begin to feel it. It masquerades as other things, and often is most evident as I begin to feel and even act more like an orphan than a daughter of the Most High God. I noticed some of that ash residue today – in my shorter-than-usual fuse, in some jealousy sprouting at church, in some discontent and displacement. So after little boys were tucked in bed, dishes put away (with a few left yet for tomorrow), I shelved the client work I really should have done tonight, and curled up in our big green living room chair.
I tried to quiet my spinning soul. I tried to talk. I tried to search my heart. I tried to push out the gunk, over to Him.
I tried. and I tried. and I tried.
And nothing seemed to be shifting. And my mind almost felt more out of control than when I even sat down to begin.
I began to get weary of trying. My mind began to wander back to the work waiting for me; and then I felt a gentle prodding in another direction.
Bathtime.
Although this did not sound efficient or absolutely necessary, it somehow sounded just right. I put on some worship as I ran the bathwater, picking up sweaters and dirty socks strewn across my bedroom floor. And a song flooded the space that I hadn’t heard for quite awhile, Running in Circles, and engaged my spirit. Light tears began to slip down my cheeks.
I lingered in the bath, and talked more, and listened more. I gave thanks. I took the real time, out of my real full schedule, to just quiet myself. And by the time I stepped out, clean and sparkly, I had no answers – but my Spirit felt clean and light again.
Then I noticed a sharp pain in my palm, and realized it was the sliver I had acquired days ago while pruning the roses. Papa and I had spent so much time, with sharp tweezers and 3 different magnifying glasses, poking around trying to get this thing out. I had finally given up, as it seemed all of our poking was doing more damage than good. The continual bleeding made it almost impossible to see anymore, so I was going to just let it scab over and get back to it later.
This week I mentioned it to my friend Jennifer – the female MacGuyver. She said the solution was a nice soaking; a long shower or bath. It softens everything and would cause the splinter to ease it’s way right up to the surface all by itself.
Which is exactly what it did. I grabbed the tweezers, and on the first pull I was able to yank it right out. The irritation and all the pain completely disappeared. As I stood there looking at the tiny thorn that had caused me so much pain this week, I also thought about the simple prescription. And then I thought about my spirit, and how just soaking in (relaxing in, enjoying) God’s presence had done so much more to move everything to the surface than all of my quick, rough poking and prodding about.
Running in Circles
United Pursuit Band
I’m so forgetful
but you always remind me
you’re the only one who brings me peace
so Lord I come
Lord I come
to you
to tell you I love you
to tell you I need you
to tell you there’s no better place for me than in your arms
to tell you I’m sorry
for running in circles
for placing my focus on the waves not on your face
you’re the only one who brings me peace
you’re the only who brings me peace
in the storm