Archives for: Forgiveness

Great Again

I looked down, using all possible restraint to not bite back, to avoid defending myself, and simply repeated my previous response, “Please don’t text me anymore right now. Have a good time tonight with the boys.” Then I tossed my phone onto the countertop, face down, and walked away.

This small act of letting go, of non-response, would have felt impossible five years ago. I hate tension and naturally scramble to pacify aggression. I’m also sensitized to accusation, and my … Read more »

Sharing the Burdens

Not long after we married, a picture began to form. I saw the real challenges of our unexpected life meeting the real creativity of a kind God, and wondered if these stories were really just for us alone. Did others need to hear the hope and imagine the possibilities? Was there anyone else out there on their own unexpected journey looking for encouragement and a brighter way forward?

I became convinced that the answer was yes. But could it be … Read more »

The Art of Celebration

Newton stood tall, taller than me, leaning up against his new Trek as the other boys stacked wads of bills into his open palm. After handing over the cash, each one grabbed the tiny orange notebook to record their requests. Early on in his delivery service, he realized that written, signed orders were the best way to avoid problems. When the flurry ceased, he read the itemized list out loud and then stuffed it along with the bills into his … Read more »

Yours, Mine, and Ours

When we first married, people asked all the time if we might have more children. We laughed. Hard. The kind of laughing where you turn red and can’t catch your breath. We were overextended just figuring out a new marriage and parenting the six we suddenly had together.

But anything can change with time. And our hearts certainly did. We both began to acknowledge a desire deep within to have a child together, and to have a child that would … Read more »

The Peace of Christmas Day

Eliot stopped at the edge of the peeling porch step and whirled back around.

“Have a great Christmas, Mom. I’ll miss you.”

Within seconds his arms were wrapped tightly around me.

I savored the briefest moment, the growing gangly boy enveloped in my hug, then stepped back and flashed him a big smile, “I will – and you too! Have a great time at Dad’s, and I’ll see you in just a few days.” He grinned back, turned, and then … Read more »

Snares

Abandonment. Abuse. Betrayal. Poverty. Family chronic illness.

Papa has faced many great tragedies already in his young life, and yet you would not know upon meeting him. You would first notice his broad smile and caring eyes and be put quickly at ease. He radiates peace and contentment and strength. He has had plentiful reasons to put on bitterness or get stuck seeking justice, or even to just give up entirely. Yet repeatedly, he does not yield to his feelings … Read more »

Healing Happens

‘My life is perfect.’

I set down my wine glass and turned to face Sullivan, incredulous. His wide grin assured me that he was quite serious.

Was this not the same little boy that just a year ago had been completely self-destructing? Pushing down his hurt and rage, then exploding, stuffing, exploding. I have cried more tears over him than any of my children as I’ve watched him grieve in such pain, unable to really communicate it or release it … Read more »