Mrs. Pigglewiggle looked over the desk at me with deep, sympathetic eyes. She nodded as I spoke, though a thick coating of hairspray kept the grey curls from budging. She leaned back into her leather wheelchair as I continued.

‘Every good gift this year. New babies, a new (free!) house, a new van, success at work, expensive things, giant tvs & gaming systems, and now even a new church. Sometimes, I just. don’t. get it. How can their choices be rewarded in every possible way?’

Of course, I was talking about our ex’s. And as I let it all spill out in the safe book-thick office of my counselor, it suddenly felt like I was back at square one. Where had all the grace gone? Why was this all suddenly bothering me so much? Who was speaking out these words heavily peppered with envy and entitlement?

Her big Italian eyes held mine for a moment, and then she said in her strong, sure voice, ‘I know dear. I understand.’

And I knew she did. I was not crazy. She understood, she was going to help me sort this out. Make it right.

I sighed, ‘Then what do I DO?’

She sat up and smiled, ‘That, my dear, is quite simple.’

Yes! Just what I wanted to hear.

‘You pray and ask God to bless them. Even more.’

Silence. I digested her words.

Hmmm. Not exactly what I was expecting. Not the silver lining I was looking for.

I paused and regrouped, ‘Welllll, ok. Sure, ok. I can do that. But what else?’

She smiled again, ‘Nothing. That’s it. Bless them. Specifically – ask God to bless them with greater love for each other, that he would never to do her what he did to you; multiply their finances and favor at work; an abundance of peace and joy in their home.’


It’s amazing how in an instant like that I can simultaneously feel two totally opposing things: a fleshly internal rejection of such an idea because it just sounds so impossible, and painful, and downright unfair. And yet also, a part of my spirit – undoubtedly The Spirit himself living in me, that rises up to meet the idea. The part that shouts eagerly, ‘Yes! Yes! This is the way; walk in it.’

I know that it is for exactly these moments that we strengthen and train our sprit man – so that the truest, best part of us is able to prevail in these battles, one of my favorite books on this is Strengthen Yourself in the Lord. And I knew in that moment that I had not been strengthening myself well as of late, that no doubt that is why I was feeling and sounding so out of alignment again.

The beautiful thing is that God is always right there, eager for us to shift gears again. Eager to draw us back in, closer. I knew even as I sat there in the small dark room that God was doing exactly that, drawing me back and setting things right within me.

Tears pooled in the bottom of my eyes, ‘Ok then. Bless them. I have, you know…then why does it still hurt? Why do I still feel jealous sometimes like this?’

She reached over and put her soft, well-worn hand on top of mine and patted it, ‘Because it takes time. Lots of time. But if you persevere in blessing them, you will get more and more free, every year. Until one day you realize that those same things haven’t phased you at all, for a very long time. That you are truly free.’

I knew she was right. I felt the agreement in my spirit. Yet how can such a simple prescription seem so difficult? Almost impossible at times? But then I thought about how far I’ve come, how much of the impossible God has already done in me and in our situation and crazy blended-family relationships, and decided a firm Yes. I would continue to trust Him, that His ways – though they are not our ways, are ultimately the best.

Jesus not only taught about this, He modeled it Himself on his very darkest days; in the face of betrayal from his own loved ones, even dying on a cross as He prayed for His Father to forgive those who put him there.

I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst.
When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer,
for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves.
This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—
to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty.

-Jesus  MATTHEW 5:45-46 {TMV}

And Mrs. Pigglewiggle firmly reminded me that when I entertain thoughts of justice or revenge (passive-aggressive as it may be – maybe I won’t take revenge, but ok-by-me if God or someone else does…), that I am giving legal ground to the real enemy in my life. Nothing is worth that. We must choose to stay living in the realm of grace at all costs.

My real point of turning came the following morning after driving the kids to school, as I worshiped (to one of my favorite simple but beautiful songs by Trevor Parker). Tears fell, as I felt my spirit finally let go in full, again, and submit to Him. There is nothing I would not do for Him – because I love Him. Because I trust Him. Because of who He is and all He’s done. Deep peace came and settled in me again.

Ok God. I say it again – I trust you, and your ways. Have your way in me. I will respond with the energies of prayer for them, and expect you to answer. Let this be my worship to you today, and in all the days ahead. Thank you for showing me the way, thank you for the amazing freedom into which you continually guide us.


4 Responses to “The One Who Always Gives His Best”

  1. ecd says:

    Why does time feel so fast when it comes to life changes and so slow when it comes to soul growth? I am with you…wrestling too…hoping that in time, choosing to bless actually turns into joy in seeing that blessing poured out. I believe it will.

  2. Rachel says:

    this my friend is simply beautiful and profound, keep going, keep pushing forward and keep blessing………..you are amazing!

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